In all honesty though, it’s a nice essay. I have to remind myself you are in high school; I’m trying to look at it like it’s a college essay!
But all that aside, I hope you haven’t submitted it to your teacher yet, at least, if you haven’t corrected the “September 11, 2011” to “September 11, 2011”!
The statement is:
"One big crisis that always comes to mind: September 11, 2011. People in the towers were betrayed twice, once by the hijackers and again by being told to stay in their offices. "
I could go full grammar nazi and proofread your paper for you, but I’m assuming you’ve already submitted it.
I will say that you really ought to refrain from using a rhetorical question in your thesis statement. That makes your thesis sound vague rather than definite.
AP English III really helped me out there. It’s why I don’t have to take English in college!